The Heart and the Shape
by clayduckling
Summary: Nymphadora Tonks, for her entire life had thought of nothing but being an Auror helping to police the magical world and stamp out dark wizards and witches. If only things were as simple as she had first anticipated. TonksRemus [R&R please]
1. Initiation

"Read this piece of paper."

Tonks blinked and looked down into the gnarled hand of Alastor Moody in which was placed a piece of creamy parchment with the words _12 Grimauld Place_ scrawled in a hand that she hadn't seen since she had opened an owl delivered letter with excited trembling fingers at the tender age of eleven.

"Tonks, speed is the key!" Moody barked making her start and giggle nervously in a very un-Tonks-ish way, she re-read the paper and recited it once in her head and watched as the building appeared, squeezing itself out from between numbers eleven and thirteen.

Once the final few bricks had trundled into place a rough hand on Tonks' shoulder let her know that it was time to go forward, to be initiated into the Order of the Phoenix, to begin her life as a double agent.

This was one of the easiest and most difficult decisions she had ever had to make. Nymphadora Tonks, who her entire life had thought of nothing more than being an Auror and serving the ministry of magic with pride helping to police the magical world and stamp out dark wizards and witches. But when her moral objective of destroying dark magic clashed with her fierce loyalty to the Ministry amongst the rubble of her confusion was where she found her biggest internal conflict.

"Nympadora Tonks I believe?" Moody had said, it had been an honour to have been visited by the most revered Dark Wizard Catcher in an age and she still blushed at the memory of tripping backwards over her chair while trying to greet him. He had told her that for months this society had been watching her, studying reports that she had written and decided finally after much deliberation to approach her. The Order of the Phoenix, the elite secret society with only one objective – destroy Voldemort. They had gone for a walk and Moody had explained that although she was fairly new to the ranks he had spotted a unique talent in her which was born out of empathy, and, if she would permit, he wished to take her on as a protégé.

That night she had tossed and turned in her half sleeping state, between dreams of exile and thoughts of betrayal Tonks had finally let the suspicions she had had about the 'ultimate truth' that the ministry had been broadcasting come to a head and decided that the time for action was sooner rather than later.

Moody tapped the door once with his wand and the tell tale clicking of magical locks began from behind it, "Once we get in here deathly silence is required, understand?"

"Yes, sir." She squeaked as the door swung open revealing a dark and sinister looking hallway. Dark meant low visibility. Low visibility meant Tonks was more likely to trip over something and Tonks was sure that her tripping over something would not produce the deathly silence that Moody had requested of her.

After the doors had been locked behind them they started off down the corridor towards the sound of muffled voices which in spite of their low volume were clearly arguing. Tonks walked a few paced ahead of Alastor and therefore was too far ahead to act on the warning of "Tonks stairs!"

With a horrible lurch in her stomach she felt her heel just miss the top step and she fell ungracefully on her backside "OW FU-" a big hand clamped itself over her mouth cutting her off, but it was too late, whatever it was they had been trying to keep happening had as deafening screams filled the house and the door in front of her burst open and two men flew out towards the corridor they had just come through.

Still lying sprawled on the floor she turned her torso to see what was making such a dreadful noise, she saw the two figures which had sprinted past her struggling to pull thick velvet curtains over a life size portrait of, of all people, her great aunt.

The rough hand that had been over her mouth found it's way to her collar hoisting her off of the floor and steering her in the direction of the warm light of the of the open door. "Get in there."

Stumbling and blinking in the light like a blue haired calf she found herself standing in the middle of a kitchen with a low brick work ceiling, up the middle ran a long heavy wooden table, at one end of which there was a small huddle of people still arguing furtively in tones which were trying to remain hushed. A bedraggled looking man whom she vaguely recognised nudged the man next to him and they stopped and slowly moved apart. As the heavy folds of robe material moved out of the way she caught a glimpse of the man who had been sitting at the head of the table. Haunting grey eyes glinted out of deep set hollows over emaciated cheeks, the face that she had been taught to memorise from briefings and newspapers for years now.

"_INCARCEROUS_!" she almost threw her wand out of her hand in her desperation to scream the spell, thick black tendrils flew from the tip of her wand and bound the shocked looked Sirius Black who didn't even try to struggle.

"You got me little cousin." He smiled and looked over at, of all people, Kingsley Shacklebot who casually flicked his wand to unbind Sirius. "Sorry, second cousin, isn't it?"

Tonks' jaw dropped, "Kingsley! At the last briefing you told us that he was in Tibet! You told the Minister! You _lied_ to the _Minister_!"

Everyone in the room laughed a little, it was then that Tonks noticed Dumbledore who was lurking over by the stove, "Nymphadora, would you like to take a seat and we'll explain all that you need to know, you have to be prepared to do a lot of trusting as we no longer have evidence for a lot of what we tell you." He smiled indulgently, "Our evidence has a habit of running off."

Tonks sat semi-numb as she took in the various stories of treachery, deceit and murder committed by Voldemort's followers and the Ministry alike. She looked at the faces around the room and smiled into herself at the mismatch of people – Kingsley Shaklebot sat serenely next to Sirius Black, Ahab to the whale, Mundungus Fletcher sitting in a room full of Aurors talking about his various misdeeds with great mirth and Dumbledore looking over the whole scene with an almost fatherly pride.

Eventually it was time for this odd family to begin making dinner and Tonks is told to set the table, "It's just six, yeah?"

Sirius, who had just shoved a small hunk of bread into his mouth held up seven fingers and promptly began to choke, she watched as Kingsley pointed his wand over his shoulder without even looking and remedied him.

The bustle in the kitchen was pleasant and reminded Tonks of the barracks in Auror training where she was one of few females in a predominantly masculine environment, for a Tom Boy she couldn't feel more secure.

She plodded around the table contently placing the fine china in front of the chairs, she turned her back go back for the cutlery when the door to the kitchen burst open and the atmosphere changed dramatically.


	2. Wounded

Remus groaned in pain as he stumbled from tree to tree, blood poured from the deep wound in his side but he knew that he had to move and keep moving. Semi-human cries echoed through the wood behind him and he knew that the hunt had started, his hand gripped tighter around his conquest praying that he could make it far enough away from the base camp to apparate in safety.

He was losing too much blood and with it his strength but it wasn't far now, he could see the clearing where the shield ended, the smell of blood and earth all around him made him feel nauseous and he saw the ground coming towards him before he felt himself falling. With all the will he could muster Remus thought of the grimy building fronts and dilapidated wrought iron fences that made up Grimauld Place.

He felt the suffocating pressure of the apparition working and almost laughed with joy as his face hit the concrete, he began to black out as the figure of Severus Snape came into his peripheral vision, "More trouble than you're worth, Lupin."

Blackness followed, horrible images flashed before his eyes which he wished could have been a bad dream caused by his illness but he knew that they were images from earlier in the night. Creeping into the squalid burrow which Fenrir Greyback called home and lifting his shabby, bloodstained notebook – the one which contained the list of victims as detailed by Voldemort himself, Greyback had made his own additions at the end of the book – muggle children. He hadn't seen her come in until it was too late; Greyback's mate Ylva, the strongest and most vicious female in his ranks. She had flown at him, teeth and claws finding his side and instantly gouging a hole, he hadn't meant to kill her even though he knew that he would have had to. The image of her prone body lying on the ground with blood gushing from a significant head wound was the one he was left with as he was revived to see the concerned faces of Dumbledore and Sirius set against a background of the kitchen ceiling.

"I got it." he said weakly trying to push himself up by the elbows and failing.

Dumbledore hushed him and smiled, "You did well, but you're badly injured, out of action for a few days at least, Remus."

The words were music to his ears, a few days of sleeping in a bed, of bathing and eating cooked food. This was cause to celebrate, "Do you have any chocolate?"

He saw Sirius smile and look around the room with wide questioning eyes before his smile became a proper wide grin and a small pale hand placed four squares of Honeydukes dark chocolate into Sirius' hand.

"Moony, you did a great job tonight; you've saved hundreds from a terrible fate." Yet another cheeky grin appeared on his face, "And you managed to scare the wits out of our new pledge."

"Yes, and I do believe that he could do with a rest." Dumbledore said firmly, Remus felt himself being lifted off of the table by magical means and closed his eyes with fatigue. He remembered his apprehension when the order had come through from Dumbledore via Snape that he was no longer just a spy he was now to turn thief.

"Dumbledore wishes that you steal Fenrir's list." Snape had said. Remus had seen in his eyes obvious amusement at his bedraggled state; those cold dark hollows lingering over his ripped trousers, the mud caked in his hairline and over his face which had been washed away in streaks which were very obviously the path of tears over his face.

"Anything else?" Remus had asked simply in response straightening his back trying to retain some pride.

Snape half turned, "Only that is has to be taken before the next full moon."

Remus had nodded and retreated back into the secrecy of the woods towards the series of hovels and burrows that he had been forced to call home recently. Fenrir was waiting for him. He had his steely gaze fixed upon Lupin intently before he had pounced; long legs working like springs propelling himself full force into Lupin's chest knocking the wind out of him and sending him crashing to the ground.

"You've been talking to a wizard, Blaez saw you." He had growled, his pointed teeth glistening with saliva inches from Lupins face, long fingers with thick yellowing nails had closed around his face and Greyback turned it to face a young boy who was sitting on his haunches grinning, pleased with himself gnawing on what looked like a rabbits foot.

Blaez, just one of the many 'cubs' which Fenrir had sired, part of the werewolf aristocracy which was emerging, children born from two vicious werewolf parents were given preferential treatment over those who were bitten from wizarding families – their very own version of pure blood mania.

"WELL!" Remus could vividly remember the smell of the rotting meat which clung to Greyback's teeth, the flecks of spit that hit his face while the giant man pressed his claw like fingernails into his neck painfully, "WHAT WAS HIS NAME?"

Remus had told him that it was Severus Snape, Voldemort's current right hand man and suddenly Greyback had been more intent on making Lupin a close friend rather than an enemy, or lunch. He had shared with Lupin his plans to take all of the children from the remote village of Gartochan, muggle children who would have no choice but to stay with the pack.

With three days to go until the full moon Lupin had chosen his moment perfectly to break into Fenrir's rooms, the women had returned with the carcasses of several red deer and the whole pack was busy arranging themselves into the appropriate pecking order, it was then that Lupin had snuck off.

He squeezed his eyes tighter pushing that memory from his mind for as long as possible, he felt himself being placed into a bed and muffled voices around him quietened down until there was only one.

"Moony, it's Padfoot." Sirius said gently, "We put you in my room for now; it's got the cleanest sheets." Remus tried to smile; there was something funny about Sirius discussing household cleanliness.

"Thank you." His normally hoarse voice sounded surprisingly frailer than he had imagined it would, he opened his eyes a crack and saw Sirius looking over his wounds with concerned eyes.

"Just keep resting, get your strength up and you'll be back rolling around in the mud before you know it." Sirius' smile didn't quite convince him and he closed his eyes again, reassuring himself that ignorance was indeed bliss. "I'll be sleeping here on the floor, howl if you need me."

"Very funny, Padfoot." He croaked letting his mind wander back to the kitchen when those four tantalising squares of chocolate had been pressed gently into the palm of Sirius' hand, "Chocolate?"

Remus heard Sirius move in the dark and licked his lips in anticipation, it had been weeks since he had even seen chocolate, "Sorry, Moony, nil by mouth for the next two days."

Remus could tell this would be a long weekend.


End file.
